A Peaceful Time in the Storm

Time to reflect friends, I sense a renewal of Democracy, and again life`s turns remind me of the dwindling hourglass.

No matter what happens we must remember the important things in life, my Dad is feeling better, my mom is worse, I find for me growing older is very difficult, everyone you idolized on screen or film are dying, elders, cousins, relatives and parents become worry, yet time and tomorrow won`t wait for anyone, all before and beyond will have to deal with this, sadness, every trip outing or occassion must be treated as a one-off, one of my friends in Maple Ridge his Mom has met me a dozen times, yet she can`t remember me, I know more than one elder with severe mental issues, my friend loves his mom but admits it`s very difficult, he has literally put his own life on hold while doing his best to improve his mom`s lost world.

There are times when I wish I was alone, unattached to anyone, a life of not caring or committing, but that can`t be removed, god damn it my dad still has unfinished business on earth, as does mom, sharp as a tack, he still whips my butt on Jeopardy, is there nothing he doesn`t know, he`s gonna have to slow down but I have my doubts, a few fishing trips are in order.

I wanted to give you all a thank you for caring, I have been touched by many of your stories, I understand that most of our readers are middle aged or better, sorry folks the Hannah Montana crowd isn`t tuning in, yet everyone of you have either lost family,friends relatives, you all have wept or will weep, and no one person`s sadness is greater than another`s, my forgiveness if I overlooked anyone`s personal tragedy, everyday one of us is dealing with grief, mine will have to wait.

The other life, is another issue I have struggled with, my friend Neil in Maple Ridge, his mom tries to head to work every morning, she hasn`t worked in 20 years, she forgets her pills, she can`t remember 2 minutes earlier, even as charming as I am she doesn`t remember me, yet I have talked to her about the past, the war years, post war, she remembers 60 years ago the type of shoes, the lunch menu but can`t remember my name, yet other elders, my parents, their minds are laser sharp, so is the will to live, I remember watching a show on W5 a decade or more ago, the story was called {The Grey Lady}.....

This woman was known as death, how you contacted her or she you was some what of a mystery, the Grey Lady would visit your home and leave with elderly parents or relatives dead, she wasn`t a killer she was there to relieve pain, sometimes the pain is too much, that show about the grey lady haunts me today, my dad is not in pain and he`s damned and determined to see Gordon Campbell dragged from office, my mom, she is in a lot of pain, she needs her leg removed, it won`t get better, the pills and pain take a terrible toll on health, unbearable pain will sap the life from you, but how do you make that choice, remove a leg to relieve the pain, maybe shadow pains would remain, could you make a choice, and who could ever avail themself of the Grey Lady and it is time`s like these when I ponder the future, take away my mind and thought and live in a circus of confusion or keep clarity of consciousness and watch the battle against time be lost, no one wins that war.

I have locked in memories for future use, like many of you I have been in various nursing homes over 4 1/2 decades of life, residents with drool on their face, vacant stares, not knowing who, what , where, or why they exist, yet there is a story for everyone, mothers, fathers, heroes and clowns, passionate jokesters, everyone of the varied souls contributed to the flavour of our family quilt.

Each and everyone of you have your own personal quilt, I have no answers only questions, why does such sorrow have to tailgate the happiness highway, why do some lose minds, some lose body and do we ever lose our spirit, I recall asking my mom about death over 40 years ago, I still recall what she said to a pouty toddler way back when,

"oh don`t worry, I won`t be dying for a long long time from now, so dry your eyes and give your mom a hug"

So I ponder her answer, her answer wasn`t good enough then and it`s not good enough today, yet that`s the only answer any of us get, there are no special rules for any of us, your brothers, children, your parents your idols, a tapestry of life has been knitted by your ancestors, no one`s loss is greater than another, whether you fished together, worked together, or enjoyed mom`s apple pie together, so to all who have lost, to everyone that still has time left, do it today, write it down, make the effort, each of you has a story to tell and I apologize for temporarily having my ears closed, I was being selfish, my folks could leave tomorrow and that`s OK, I will always have those old salty tears to remember them by, as will you and your loved ones.

In the meantime, we have a Government to remove, Gordon Campbell and cabinet need to be jailed, we have Salmon to rear, a pipeline to stop, we need to start quilting a tapestry to pass on, a salty teared stained tapestry, without the tears we didn`t live, I again apologize to all for putting my tears first. you are all as brave as your tears are wet. may you find a calm in the storm, may your memories never fade, peace be upon your house.

The Straight Goods

Cheers-Eyes Wide Open